


an issue of trust

by iiKitKatTheOcelot



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, Crying, Dream Smp, L’manberg, Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, Traitor Toby Smith | Tubbo, Trust Issues, War, tubbo cries a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:20:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27141664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iiKitKatTheOcelot/pseuds/iiKitKatTheOcelot
Summary: It had been a week since Tubbo had joined Dream, and betrayed L’manberg. It wasn’t like he wanted to. He had to.Tubbo gulped, staring at the ground. He had lied to his friends. He stole from them, giving Dream all of the gear L’manberg had collected. He had told Dream everything he knew, L’manberg’s secrets, their weaknesses.He betrayed his friends.Could he ever be forgiven?
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 178





	1. a dirty traitor

It had been a week since Tubbo had joined Dream, and betrayed L’manberg. It wasn’t like he wanted to. He  _ had _ to. 

Tubbo remembered the night he went on that late night walk, and encountered Dream. The boy almost ran, but stopped when Dream began to speak.

The blonde had threatened his friends, claiming he would slaughter them and would make sure they would never respawn. 

Tubbo had been terrified, he couldn’t let this happen.

But what could he do?

_ What could he do? _

Tubbo wanted to run, but was frozen where he stood.

“But, I may not go through with this plan…” Dream spoke.

Tubbo knew there was a catch. He stared at the masked man, raising an eyebrow.

“If you join the Dream SMP.”

Tubbo tensed at Dream’s words, eyes widening.

“W-what?” He gasped.

“As long as you join the Dream SMP, and spy on L’manberg for us, I won’t slaughter L’manberg,” Dream grinned.

Tubbo hesitated.

He couldn’t do this to his friends.

_ Tommy, Wilbur, Eret, Fundy... _

But what other choice did he have?

If he didn’t accept, his friends would die, and Dream would make sure they couldn’t respawn.

Tubbo gulped, staring at the ground, conflicted.

“Well?” Dream’s voice cut through the silence.

The brown haired boy looked up.

“I’ll join you.”

Tubbo stood at the gate of L’manberg, staring at his friends who stood before him.

Dream’s hand rested on his shoulder.

“Tubbo, why?”

“You betrayed us!”

“We trusted you!”

His friend’s cried, disbelief shining in their eyes.

Tubbo gulped, staring at the ground. He had lied to his friends. He stole from them, giving Dream all of the gear L’manberg had collected. He had told Dream everything he knew, L’manberg’s secrets, their weaknesses.

He betrayed his friends.

Tubbo glanced over at Tommy. His friend had been silent ever since Tubbo was revealed.

He stiffened as Tommy pushed past Wilbur, standing between the two groups.

Blue eyes locked onto Tubbo’s, they were full of hurt and shone with betrayal.

“H-how could you?” Tommy choked, his voice was hoarse and full of pain, he sounded like he couldn’t believe what was happening. He couldn’t believe his best friend had betrayed him.

“Tubbo, I trusted you!” The blonde shouted, tears flowing down his face. Tubbo flinched, his eyes beginning to water as he stared at his friend.

“Tommy-“ Tubbo tried to speak, but was cut off.

“No- No, listen here Tubbo,” Tommy snarled, voice laced with venom.

“You fucked up.”

Tubbo couldn’t hold back his tears as he stared at Tommy. He couldn’t move. It felt like the world had stopped.

Tommy’s words had hurt. They hurt more than the wounds he carried after battle, hurt more than the bee stings he had after accidentally breaking a hive, hurt more than the bruises he carried after falling from the tree branch he would sit with Tommy on.

But he knew nothing would hurt more than the betrayal his friends must feel.

“Tommy...I didn’t w-“ Tubbo began.

Dream’s grip on his shoulder tightened.

He stopped speaking. He wanted to scream. To cry. To run away from the Dream SMP. He wanted to tell Tommy this was all a misunderstanding, that he didn’t want to betray them, that he was forced to, that he  _ had to _ , to protect them!

But it was too late, and he was already being led back to the land of the Dream SMP.

Tubbo pretended not to hear Tommy’s sobs as he walked away, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

Tubbo didn’t get much sleep that night.

Ever since the betrayal, he never did.

Tubbo stood by as the duel began. He cried out when Dream managed to shoot Tommy, watching his friend vanish into a white puff of smoke, a sign of respawning.

He didn’t stay long, simply sobbing as he walked away, back to his house in the Dream SMP.

He may live there, but it would never be his home.

Tubbo wanted to celebrate when L’manberg won the war. He could hear their shouts of victory echo across the hills when they found out Tommy had secured their independence.

Tubbo sobbed, sitting on the bench him on Tommy would listen to music discs on. He stared at the sunset, knees pulled up to his chest as tears soaked his clothes.

He nearly leapt out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

The brown haired boy looked up, wiping away the tears that blurred his vision, and he immediately recognized the person in front of him.

“Tommy…” Tubbo choked, his tears returning.

“Hey, Tubbo,” Tommy greeted with a soft, melancholy smile.

The two were silent as Tommy settled down on the bench next to him.

The silence lasted a while, before Tubbo spoke, glancing over at his friend.

“Tommy...what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be celebrating with the rest of L’manberg?” He questioned.

Tommy was quiet, staring ahead at the sunset, before finally responding.

“It isn’t the same without you,” The blonde sighed, looking down at the ground.

Tubbo was silent, looking away from his friend and back to the setting sun.

The silence stretched on once again.

“Tubbo?” Tommy spoke.

Tubbo simply responded with a small hum, not looking over at his friend.

“Are you happy in the Dream SMP?” 

Tubbo’s eyes widened at Tommy’s words, his lip quivered, and the tears returned.

He looked over at Tommy, eyes watery.

“No.”

The boy shakily admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Immediately, he was pulled into a hug, which Tubbo graciously accepted, sobbing into his friend’s shirt.

The two stayed like that for a while, before Tubbo eventually calmed down, only quietly sniffling.

Tommy pulled away from his friend, looking Tubbo in the eye.

“Want to rejoin L’manberg?”

Tubbo couldn’t believe his ears. Did he hear that correctly?

“R-really?” He gasped, hopeful.

Tommy nodded, smiling.

“Seriously? You would let me rejoin? After everything I did-“ 

Tubbo was cut off by Tommy pulling him back into a hug.

“I don’t care what you did. L’manberg isn’t the same without you, Tubbo. I miss you. We  _ all _ miss you.”

Tubbo was crying again, he couldn’t believe what was happening.

“So, will you rejoin?” Tommy questioned.

Tubbo nodded immediately.

And so, the pair started for L’manberg.

The two finally reached L’manberg’s walls. Tubbo glanced around, gaze sweeping the blackstone walls that protected the country.

Tubbo followed Tommy inside of L’manberg, and the brown haired boy flinched as he heard a familiar voice.

“Tubbo, what are you doing here?” 

Tubbo and Tommy turned, and were greeted by none other than Wilbur, the president of L’manberg.

“Wilbur! Hey! Guess what?” Tommy grinned, but continued before Wilbur could respond.

“Tubbo is rejoining L’manberg!” 

Tubbo winced at the shocked look on Wilbur’s face. Clearly Tommy hadn’t spoken to him about this beforehand.

“Pardon?” Wilbur questioned, raising an eyebrow, “Tubbo is  _ what _ ?”

“He’s rejoining L’manberg!”

Wilbur nodded slowly at Tommy’s words, before sighing, rubbing his temples in a mix of exhaustion and irritation.

“Hey, what’s going on?” 

Tubbo looked over, and spotted Fundy and Eret approaching the three. As the two spotted Tubbo, they tensed, Fundy went to pull out his crossbow, but Wilbur held out a hand to stop him, sighing.

“Now, Tommy, please explain to me why you thought it was ok to allow Tubbo, the person that betrayed our country, back into L’manberg?” Wilbur interrogated, clearly frustrated.

Tubbo cringed, beginning to feel very self-conscious as he rubbed his arm nervously.

Tommy tensed.

“Well- He wasn’t happy in the Dream SMP,” Tommy shrugged.

“And?” Wilbur pressed.

“I missed him!” Tommy explained.

“That’s why?” Wilbur snapped, eye twitching with anger, “You missed him?  _ You missed him _ ?” 

“Yeah, I-“ Tommy was cut off by Wilbur.

“You missed the person that betrayed us? The person that nearly cost us the war?! If Tubbo hadn’t become a traitor, we would still have our independence  _ and _ your discs!” Wilbur snarled.

“I don’t care about those discs!” Tommy protested.

“Well obviously you don't care much about the safety of L’manberg-“ Wilbur argued, but was interrupted by Eret.

“Tommy, I know you trust Tubbo, but what if this is a trap?” Eret pointed out.

“Tubbo wouldn’t do that!” Tommy retorted.

“Just like he wouldn’t betray us the first time?” Fundy joined in.

“This is different! Tubbo isn’t happy in the Dream SMP!” Tommy cried.

“Tommy, think! There are so many ways this could be a trap!” Wilbur shouted.

“It can’t be a trap!” Tommy shook his head

“How? What is there to prove that it isn’t a trap?” Wilbur questioned.

“I just know it isn’t! I trust him!” Tommy demanded.

“How can we trust him! He betrayed us!” Wilbur pressed.

“I-“ Tommy began, but snapped his mouth shut.

Quiet, soft sobs.

Everybody turned to look at Tubbo.

“P-please! Don’t fight over me! I don’t want you two to argue because of me!” Tubbo begged, attempting to wipe away his tears, but they were quickly replaced by more, as if they were endless.

Everybody hesitated to speak, their angered expressions softening and turning to ones of guilt and concern. Wilbur’s brow furrowed, and he looked like he wanted to speak.

“I never- I never wanted-  _ hic!  _ \- to join Dream!” Tubbo sobbed, trembling, “I  _ had _ to! He made me!” 

At his words, Tommy tensed, Wilbur looked unsure of what to do, he raised a hand to reach out to Tubbo, but stopped himself. Fundy had his ears pressed back and eyes wide, and Eret just looked shocked.

Nobody moved for a while, the only sound was Tubbo’s faint crying.

Suddenly, Tommy rushed forward, and Tubbo was pulled into a hug. Tubbo didn’t make any attempt to escape, and began crying into his friend’s shoulder once more. 

After a while, Tubbo wiped away his tears, looking up at Wilbur, who spoke.

“Tubbo- What do you mean by  _ Dream made you _ ?” The man questioned softly. 

Tubbo pulled away from Tommy, staring at the ground.

“I…” Tubbo didn’t know where to begin, “One night, I went on a walk and ended up outside of L’manberg, and I ran into Dream.”

Tubbo ignored the worried look Tommy gave him, and continued.

“Dream s-said that he was going to kill all of you guys, and make sure you never respawned.”

Everybody seemed shocked at that, Tubbo could see a bit of rage burn in his friend’s eyes. Tubbo could only hope it was because of Dream, and not him.

“But, he said- he said if I joined him he wouldn’t do it… so I joined him, and spied on you guys for him, until that night at the gate...” Tubbo explained, wincing at the last bit and casting a small glance at Tommy.

“Tubbo- Tubbo i’m so sorry. I didn’t know you had no other choice. I’m sorry,” Wilbur apologized.

Tubbo simply responded with a faint nod, and he felt Tommy’s hand on his shoulder.

“Tubbo, why didn’t you tell me?” Tommy asked.

“I tried to, that night at the gate, but Dream stopped me before I could,” Tubbo explained.

Tommy didn’t respond, simply pulling him into another hug. 

“So, Wilbur?” Tommy said after a while, pulling away from Tubbo slightly.

Wilbur hummed in acknowledgement, looking over at Tommy.

“Can Tubbo come back?” Tommy asked, his voice pleading.

“Of course he can,” Wilbur nodded, smiling softly.

Light lit up in Tommy’s eyes, and he turned to look at Tubbo, grinning. 

“You can come back!” Tommy cheered, as if Tubbo hadn’t been able to hear Wilbur.

Tubbo grinned, eyes shining.

He was home.

After a few moments of celebration, Wilbur spoke.

“I know you two are excited, but it’s getting dark. We should all head to sleep,” Wilbur pointed out. Tubbo only then realized it was pretty dark, the only light came from the moon and the lamps that were scattered around.

Tommy nodded in agreement, yawning. Only then did Tubbo realize how exhausted he was.

The group headed inside, and Tubbo followed Tommy into the room they always shared, and discovered that his bed had never been removed. Grateful, he settled down under the covers, and glanced over at Tommy, who was in his own bed on the other side of the room.

“Goodnight, Tubbo!” Tommy’s voice rang out in the silence as he switched off the light.

“Goodnight, Tommy!” Tubbo smiled.

He was glad to be back.


	2. do i belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo was glad to be back, he really was, but he didn’t think he could say the same for the other members of L’manberg.

Tubbo was glad to be back, he really was, but he didn’t think he could say the same for the other members of L’manberg.

They  _ seemed _ happy, but he saw the sideways glances they gave him.

Whenever Tommy smiled at him, Tubbo swore it was forced.

He would lay awake at night, remembering what Dream had told him.

_ “They hate you.” _

_ “They will never trust you.” _

_ “They deserved to be betrayed.” _

_ “You hurt them.” _

_ “They had it coming.” _

_ “Tommy must be so heartbroken.” _

_ “You left them.” _

_ “They don’t care about you.” _

_ “They don’t miss you.” _

No matter how much he wanted to forget, to tell himself they did care about him, that they wanted him back.

But Dream’s words lingered in his mind.

Tubbo carried a stack of iron back to L’manberg, ready to put them in a storage chest, when he ran into Fundy.

“Hey, Tubbo!” Fundy greeted, grinning.

_ That smile is fake. _

“Hi, Fundy!” Tubbo smiled.

“What have you been up to today?” The fox asked, tilting his head.

_ He doesn’t trust you. _

“I just collected a stack of iron, I’m about to put it in storage,” Tubbo explained.

“That’s a lot of iron, good job!” Fundy gave him a thumbs up.

_ You should have collected more. You hurt them. They don’t like you. You won’t be able to repay them. _

“Well, cya around!” Fundy waved goodbye, running off before Tubbo could respond.

_ He doesn’t want to be around you. _

That would happen every day. Not always with Fundy, thought. It didn’t matter who he spoke to, but it was always the same. He would always have that doubt in the back of his mind.

It got to the point where he would avoid them, but then he realized they would trust him even less if he stopped talking to them.

But eventually, he stopped caring about what they thought when he avoided them.

They didn’t trust him anyways.

One day, he was approached by Wilbur.

“Hey, Tubbo, you alright?” The president asked gently.

Tubbo simply nodded.

“Yeah, I’m good, why?” Tubbo tilted his head, confused.

“Well, I’m just a bit worried about you. You seem to have been avoiding everybody recently. Is something wrong?” Wilbur questioned.

Tubbo forced himself to remain calm.

_ They don’t trust you. They don’t trust you. They’re going to kick you out. _

Tubbo felt like he had been caught, but caught for what? He wasn’t doing anything wrong.

“I have? Oh. Sorry, I didn’t realize,” Tubbo lied, pretending to be clueless. He shrugged, forcing a smile.

Wilbur didn’t look convinced, but nodded, brow furrowed.

“Alright then. But, if you want to talk about anything, you know where to find me.”

And with that, Wilbur walked away.

Once Wilbur had walked far enough, Tubbo ran inside, feeling sick.

He went to bed early, and fell asleep after an hour or two of lying awake. 

Tubbo found himself dreaming. He was standing in front of a dirt wall.

Something inside him told him to break the dirt.

Tubbo broke away the dirt, revealing a secret passageway.

He began walking down the passage, realizing his friends were behind him.

Wilbur, Tommy, Fundy, and Eret.

They entered an obsidian room. Several chests were placed around, labeled. A button was set in the middle.

His friends entered the room around him, staring around in awe.

Wilbur turned to Tubbo.

His voice sounded like it was underwater, and distorted.

_ “Why are the chests empty?” _

His body moved on its own as he pushed the button.

He stepped back as several doors opened in the walls.

His feet were glued to the floor, and Tubbo stared in horror, watching as enemies appeared from the walls, attacking his friends.

Tubbo opened his mouth to scream, but no sound came out.

He could only watch as his friends were killed. He knew they wouldn’t respawn.

A sword was plunged through Tommy’s chest.

Tubbo cried out, and Dream turned to him.

He gasped as a sword came flying towards his face.

He jolted awake suddenly, sitting upright. He heard hushed voices speaking in the other room. 

It was still dark out, glancing at the clock, Tubbo realized it was the middle of the night, he must have woken up early. Glancing around the bedroom, he noticed Tommy’s bed was empty.

Confused, Tubbo crawled out of bed, noticing light shining through a small crack in the door. Carefully, he pushed the door open, peering into the other room.

Huddled around a table, were Wilbur, Tommy, Fundy, and Eret.

Tubbo narrowed his eyes, even more confused. Why were they all talking without him? It looked important. 

Tubbo was about to head into the room, but something made him stop.

“We’ve all noticed it, Tubbo is clearly avoiding us for some reason,” Wilbur’s voice was hushed, but Tubbo could still hear him.

“I’m confused on why? Did we do something wrong?” Fundy sounded upset.

“What are we supposed to do?” Eret added.

“I don’t know, this isn’t like him,” Tommy sighed.

A pang of guilt shot through Tubbo.

He was hurting his friends.

“I’m worried about him,” Wilbur admitted.

Tubbo’s heart raced as he stepped away from the door, backing away into the darkness. He didn’t want to continue listening.

He was still hurting his friends. He thought avoiding them would help, but no.

They don’t trust him.

He would always hurt them.

Tubbo crawled back into bed, pulling his knees up to his chest.

Why was he like this? 

Why did he always manage to hurt his friends?

A sob wracked his body as he began to cry, unable to stop the tears.

He hurt his friends. He  _ always _ hurt them.

They would never trust him.

Tubbo squeezed his eyes shut, burying his hands in his hair as he curled in on himself, shaking.

_ He was a traitor. A dirty traitor. He couldn’t be trusted. They don’t trust him. They never will. He betrayed them. He hurt them. All he could do is hurt people- _

“Tubbo!”

He jumped, feeling a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, staring into familiar blue eyes.

Tommy.

“Tubbo, are you alright?” His friend asked, concerned.

Tubbo didn’t know how to respond, sniffling.

“I-I’m sorry…” He apologized, looking away.

“Wh- why are you apologizing? Did something happen?” Tommy looked alarmed.

“I didn’t mean to make you guys worry. I never wanted to h-hurt you,” Tubbo sobbed guiltily. 

“What? Tubbo, I’m confused,” Tommy’s brow furrowed.

“I heard you guys talking in the other room. I didn’t mean to hurt you, or make you guys worry. I know you guys don’t trust me, I’m sorry, Tommy…” Tubbo sniffled.

Tommy stiffened.

“Tubbo, what do you mean we don’t trust you, you’re my best friend!” Tommy said, still gripping his friend’s shoulder.

“B-but I hurt you guys. I betrayed you-“ Tubbo protested.

“You were just trying to protect us! We all trust you, and we all care about you!” Tommy insisted, shaking him slightly.

“You mean it?” Tubbo asked, sniffling and wiping his tears away.

“I mean it,” Tommy nodded reassuringly.

Tubbo simply responded with a grateful nod. He was still crying, but felt way better.

As always, he was pulled into a hug. The two stayed there, until Tubbo stopped crying.

“Thank you,” Tubbo muttered.

“No problem, Tubbo,” Tommy smiled.

The two eventually fell asleep. In the morning, they were woken by Wilbur, walked into the kitchen to discover Wilbur had made chocolate chip pancakes, which were saved only for special occasions, but nobody mentioned it. 

Tubbo was as chatty as ever, his doubts had faded away into nothing, he knew he was trusted, he knew he belonged here.

He knew this was his home.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! im actually kinda proud of this one


End file.
